Archive for February, 2008

Quick Update

{ February 29, 2008 @ 6:25 pm } · { general, weigh-in }
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I broke down and weighed myself today and happily I’ve lost 2 pounds.  This is good new and a bit perplexing.  I’ve been having a hard time getting my workouts in this week.  I have done some kind of damage to my right foot and leg.  I have shooting pain when I stand a certain way and when I rub my had along my shin.  It’s weird and causes me to really not want to use the treadmill.  I have gone to water aerobics this week (along with one good workout Wednesday night) and I’m not sure if that is helping or making it worse.  All I can do is pay attention to it and if it gets worse I’ll have to go see my doctor.

Also an update on the subject of vomiting while exercising… I did have another hurl day this week.  I wasn’t feeling great Wednesday evening and by Thursday morning had a pretty good headache going.  I thought perhaps that getting up and going to the gym might help so, I went to water aerobics.  It didn’t help.  About 45 mintutes into things I had to make a mad dash for the restroom which blew because the last 15 minutes are my favorite part of class.  I went home and slept for a few more hours which helped tremendously but sadly I have now thrown up outside of the ultimate loser arena.  It would seem that I’m prone to vomiting while exercising.  Either that or I should not do water aerobics with a headache.  hmmm…..

Beginning Weight:  301
Current Weight:  264
Pounds Lost:  37

fessin’ up time

{ February 26, 2008 @ 6:10 pm } · { food, general, weigh-in }
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okay… the last couple of weeks have been hard and this means that I’m struggling with the whole “losing weight” thing.  I don’t know what shifted for me but I’ve been craving my old habits.  Pizza, coke, pasta and the ilk have called to me from the grocery store shelves and I have heeded their call.  This weekend was particularly bad and I ate extremely poorly.  The only upshot of this behavior is that it hasn’t totally caught up to me on the scale yet.  I haven’t lost but nither have I gained.  It’s going to catch up with me soon though.

I have been going to the gym.  I’ve even added some running to my time on the treadmill.  This time, however, has been shortening.  The goal is to get 50 minutes of cardio when I’m at there but lately… 45 minutes… 40 minutes is all I’m sticking it out for.   This has to change but I’m really not wanting to.  I have my gym bag in the car right now and I know I should head to they gym after work.  I should dedicate myself to getting my cardio time in for the day.  I really don’t want to.  Even though I don’t want to I will but I won’t enjoy it!!!

Current weight: 266   Let’s hope this number drops next week!

grapefruit, not just another sub-tropical wonder!

{ February 14, 2008 @ 6:24 pm } · { food }
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This week I have been loving grapefruit.  I’ve had a delicious grapefruit for lunch many times over the last several days and they have been a lovely addition to my diet.  However, I’ve thrown all I know about eating a grapefruit to the wind and have ventured into new territory concerning this juicy, citrus wonder.

For awhile now I’ve been reading this blog.  It’s written by a girl who has been chronicling her own weightloss journey.  She didn’t need to lose the horriffic amount of weight that I do but she diligently changed her lifestyle to become healthy and fit.  Kath’s blog is a-mazing.  She takes a picture of every single thing she puts in her mouth and posts the photos to her site.  She posts several times a day, every day and it’s interesting to see what her meals look like.  They are always well balanced (she doesn’t have the food issues (fish!) that I do) and I find it somewhat comforting that I sport some similar habits.  I also eat the same things, sometimes with variations, over and over, every single day.

One of the things I’ve noticed from her photos is that while she likes grapefruit, she often eats peeled.  Peeled?!?  I’ve have never in my many days seen a grapefruit eaten in this manner.  I didn’t even realize that the peel came off, I just assumed the only way to get to it’s delicious pulpy innards was to cut it in half and attack each section with a spoon (okay, I knew but seriously never thought anyone would actually do it).  However, peeling is only the tip of the iceburg.  She also, occasionally, cuts the in two (like I assumed everyone did) and then sprinkles it with brown sugar and puts it under the broiler.  I kid you not!  Who knew that you could turn this simple citrus orb into a warm, carmalized treat?  I sure didn’t.  But now I do and endless doors have been opened for me?

Why am I sharing this with you today.  Well, I felt that the world needs this knowledge.  Break out of your narrow grapefruit eating ways and explore the possibilities!  Also, Cricket wants me to post more often so here it is :-D

tuesday is the new friday

{ February 12, 2008 @ 5:56 pm } · { food, weigh-in }
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I’ve decided to change my weigh-in day to Tuesday morning.  Why would I do this you might ask… because I always weigh the least on Tuesdays.  It’s weird but I’m embracing it.

This past weekend was pretty bad as far as my diet was concerned.  It was actually pretty bad for my activity levels as well but my food was really really horrible.  I had pizza, twice and chinese food.  Both of these are really not “diet friendly” foods.  To make matters worse, I live alone and have no one to share with so I consumed a lot!  Really, really bad idea!  I hate that I struggle so much over the weekends.  I’m home more on Fri/Sat/Sun and I think being home, with my pantry, is a recipe for disaster.  Even when I’m not ordering pizza I’m still eating larger amounts of the ‘better for me’ things I have in the fridge.

The overall realization I’m having… I have a long, long ways to go and much to change.  Still.

Anywhooo… here are my latest numbers:

Starting Weight: 301
Current Weight: 266
Total Weight Lost: 35

That’s 2 lbs down from last week.  yeehoo!

to answer a question…

{ February 4, 2008 @ 6:37 pm } · { reflection }
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Teresa, my super weightloss pal, asked me a question in the comments of a previous post and I thought I’d answer here:

“I’ve thought some of doing a blog like yours thinking that it might make me be a bit better about my goals if I had to post my weight somewhere visible. How has blogging about your adventure helped you?”

Blogging about trying to lose weight has been simultaneously very humiliating and very encouraging.  It was hard to put my initial weight (and current weight too, if I’m being honest) in writing.  Admitting to all my skinny, fit, attractive friends (and the internet) the actually number I see when I get on the scale was hard.  I used to believe that you had to wait until you were emotionally ready to lose weight, to begin changing a lifestyle based on completely unhealthy living.  I was wrong.  I was never going to feel ready, and that “I’ll start my diet on Monday” mentality had been going on for 15 years.  Monday never came, and frankly it was never going to.  I was never going to be “ready” to do this I just had to begin and it was really hard.

Part of that jumping in process, for me, was making sure as many people as possible knew what I was doing.  Too often, any diet/exercise/lifestyle changes I’d tried to make were done under the veil of secrecy and I didn’t feel accountable to anyone (not even myself).  If I screwed up no one knew but me and thus I didn’t have to face anyone about it.  This time I needed people to know what was happening so when I inevitably decided to quit I’d have to face the cacophony of voices telling me to “keep going”, “it’s worth it”, “you’ve come so far”, etc.  And believe me, the first few weeks of that ultimate loser program are some of the darkest I’ve had.  I wanted to quit every day.  My feet hurt so badly and I was so overwhelmed and tired.  The ability to write out how I was feeling and then receive positive and encouraging feedback kept me going through the tears and late night/early morning emotional breakdowns.  I likely would have quit had it not been for this little space.

Now, I’m facing a new challenge… I’m continuing on my own.  The initial ten week program helped me figure out what I needed to do, gave me some clear guidance and a trainer to keep me moving.  However, now I’m all alone trying to keep the weight loss train from derailing.  It would be very easy at this point to quit.  I don’t have a class expecting me to join them in the morning, I don’t have anyone creating new challenges for me to conquer, I don’t have anyone checking my food log and commenting on the choices I’m making, and I don’t have the familiarity of the people and place where I began my journey.  Without these things I can absolutely see how I (because I am lazy and a procrastinator) would have let myself go, gained back all the weight I lost and ended up feeling worse than ever before.  Thankfully, I have this weblog.  This place is keeping me going.  Knowing (or maybe it’s just believing) that people are reading this and care about how I’m doing keeps me going.  Yes, it’s been harder since that initial program ended but being accountable to a group of readers (even if they are just family and a few friends) makes me take a look at what I’m doing, adjust and tweak what isn’t working and continue setting goals.  This is invaluable.

So that is what blogging about my weight loss adventure has done for me.  It has helped me not be a quitter.  It has helped me be honest with myself about how my weight has affected my life.  It has allowed me to hear people talk to me about my weight without resenting them for bringing it up (and I’ve resented a whole lot of people in the past who have brought it up) because I brought it up first.

With all this said I’d like to ask readers (anyone who isn’t already) to comment and let me know what you think.  Hearing from you helps… a lot!  I have no delusions that this journey is impacting anyone but myself but it is impacting me and that is a big deal in my world.  I finally think that I can actually accomplish some of the dreams I’ve had all my life.  Those things may actually be possible.  And this is great news for a formerly, currently but no longer continuing fat girl.

time to revamp my approach

{ February 4, 2008 @ 3:15 pm } · { food, goals }
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I’ve been told weight loss is 20% exercise and 80% what you eat and I believe it.  This has been brought home to me big time this past month.  My weight loss was pretty pathetic and my caloric intake has been way, way off.  It’s time for me to get back to healthy eating.  After a weekend spent not really accounting for what I ate, I fear that I’m setting myself up for another disappointing week.  Frankly it’s not worth it.  So, I’m back on the wagon and I’ll be meticulously tracking everything I eat again.

My goal: 1200 to 1400 cal a day.

I’m also trying a new approach.  I don’t usually eat breakfast.  There are several reasons for this.  The thought of eating in the morning makes me slightly nauseous, I routinely run out of time, I have a hard time eating my calories in the morning when I’m not hungry, etc.  I’m going to need to get over this mindset.  What happens to me is that I don’t eat breakfast, I pack a lunch, which usually only contains 500 cal max for work and by the time I get home at 8 p.m. I’m starving.  This means that I eat way too much at night and have a hard time not going over my calorie limit.

This isn’t working for me anymore now that no one is watching (during the ultimate loser my trainer had access to my food log and it was extremely motivating to know he could see what I was eating).  So, I’ve decided that I need to eat more during the day, including breakfast, so I’m not starving when I get home.  Today I had  1/2 cup of granola and 1/3 cup skim milk for breakfast.  I’ve brought some snacks for work and I’m going to have some chicken on my salad at lunch to give myself some protein.  I’m hoping that this tactic will work.  Otherwise, I may have to give someone access to my bodybugg account.  Nothing like knowing you are being judged on what you eat to keep things in check!

Weight Update for Week 17

{ February 2, 2008 @ 1:53 pm } · { weigh-in }
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Okay, I weighed myself again this morning and so now this is official:

Starting Weight: 301
Current Weight: 268
Weight Lost: .6
Total Weight Lost: 33

Not a stellar week.  However, yesterday I finally went down to the Sports Academy and picked up my ‘before & after’ photos from the competition.  I’ve already posted the ones in my street clothes and I don’t think you can tell that I lost 30 lbs in those.  But, the bathing suit pictures?… yeah, you can tell.  It’s amazing how much I lost around my middle section.  I’ve always told people that I’m shaped like a soft serve ice cream cone.  I have relatively skinny legs, a lumpy round middle, no boobs and then we top things off with my little head.  Well folks, this ice cream cone has melted a bit.  And no, I will never ever post those bathing beauty pictures on the internet.  I do have some pride.

week 17–Snow, stairs and the pool

{ February 1, 2008 @ 4:20 pm } · { exercise, stairs, weigh-in }
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I have woken up, every single morning this week, at around 3:30 with a raging headache. I have no idea why. It’s bad. Especially since I’ve been trying to go to water aerobics in the mornings. I still went but it’s really no fun with a tender head. This weekend I’ve got to figure out what I’m doing wrong. I may need to get new pillows, drink more water before I go to sleep, turn down the heat and crack open a window, lose the body pillow… who knows what will work, but I can not continue on like this.

As for my exercise week… it’s been pretty good. I did go to the water aerobics class on Tuesday and Thursday morning (Tuesday’s instructor rocked and it was a great workout!) and I went to the gym Monday night for an hour. I was planning on going to the gym last night and to water aerobics this morning but CV was hit with a huge storm. I had even changed into my workout clothes at the library last night and planned on going straight to the gym but the roads were really slick and I was slippey sliddy so I decided I’d better focus on getting home. This morning around 3:30 (as I was getting some excedrin), I looked out the door and my car/driveway/stairs were covered in a deep blanket of snow. I knew that I couldn’t dig myself out in time to get to class, so I skipped it. I feel really bad as I think my friend Sarah was expecting me but really, it wasn’t going to happen. So, now I was going to need to go after work. Well, around 9 a.m. I got a call from my friend Chelle. She is training right now for a hiking trip to southern Chili and has been going to the Spectrum at the university to run stairs on Friday mornings.

spectrum.jpg

When she called she cheerfully asked if I’d like to come along. Now, I know I’ve mentioned that I think doing some training with stairs would be good for me but when faced with the immediate possibility of it I instinctually responded, “I think I’m going to pass”. Now Chelle has been one of my major supporters and I don’t think she was planning on letting me off that easy, thus after a quick reminder that I’d said wanted to do this before, I agreed.

While I waited for her to pick me up I tackled the snow and got around 20 minutes of upper body work from digging out the stairs, sidewalks, mailbox and part of my car. I then walked 12 sets of stairs (a set is up and down a aisle of stairs) and walked the perimeter of the spectrum 9ish times. This took abound 40 minutes. Then when I got home I (with Chelle’s help) finished shoveling. All in all I’d say I got a good hour and 25 minutes of serious exercise and burned a total of 1120 cal–627 cal from the stairs! That totally rocks! It almost makes me want to do this every day… almost. In any case I’m feeling pretty good today. Thanks Chelle for not taking no for an answer!

For this weeks kick ass workout song I’m putting the song that qued up when I began stairs this morning, SexyBack by Justin Timberlake. Not only does it have a great beat but I find it hilarious that I was listening to a song about bring on the sexy when I was so very, very un-sexy!

So now on to this weeks results…

I don’t want to say!

Seriously it blows.

Okay, I didn’t lose freakin’ anything! I realize that my eating hasn’t been great, but not one day this week did I consume more than I burned and in fact, according to the numbers, should have lost at least 2 pounds. So I’m going to weigh myself tomorrow and let today’s activities settle in. Whatever the scale says tomorrow I’ll post but I cannot make myself put a no loss week, in numerals, today.